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Put an X by the secrets to which you can relate! 💚 |
I'm silently correcting your grammar. 🤓 | |
That intense and pure anger you have while driving behind a student driver. | |
My favorite thing about camping is when I don't. 🏕️ | |
I desperately want to go camping this summer. Preferably in a hotel. With a pool. And a spa. | |
Whoever said money can't buy happiness has clearly never been to Target. 🎯 | |
My to-do list from today seems to consist of everything from my to-do list yesterday. 📝 | |
I wish I were as thin as my patience. | |
The last time I saw you, I was hoping it was the last time I saw you. 👀 | |
Summer is my favorite season to remember why I don't like my arms. | |
The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people. | |
I overshare on social media to make up for never talking to anyone in real life. | |
My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats. | |
I wish all social media was as non-addictive as LinkedIn. | |
If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad. | |
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. | |
You make me wish I had more middle fingers. | |
I'd be more likely to cook if I didn't have to eat my own cooking. | |
Whew, that was close. I almost had to socialize. | |
I should be ashamed of myself. Let's be clear, I'm not. But I should be. 🤦♀️ | |
I don't always pin, but when I do....I pin 400 things in one sitting! 💻 | |
I'm bored. Want to get drunk and judge people together? | |
It's time to start getting into swimsuit cover-up shape. | |
You can't fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day. | |
When you say everything happens for a reason, don't be surprised when I slap you in the face. It happened for a reason. | |
How are you today? Just kidding... I don't care. | |
I would be more inclined to grow up if I saw that it worked out for everyone else. | |
Let's just take a moment and be thankful Pinterest doesn't have a pin limit. 📌 | |
Let's plan a weekend getaway alone in our apartment on our computers. | |
The closest I get to camping is staying at a hotel with no wifi. | |
I'm finally old enough to say I despise today's music. | |
We're new parents, and I wish we had even a clue as to what we're doing. | |
I live in fear of actually hearing a Justin Bieber song and liking it. 🕺 | |
Lord, forgive me. It's Friday, and I'm going to drink and sin like a mother*cker this weekend. 🙏 | |
I'm shy at first, but once I'm comfortable with you, get ready for some crazy sh*t. | |
Some of us will watch a movie to unwind. And some of us just go on Pinterest for two hours instead. | |
My resume is just a list of things I really never want to do again. | |
The best nicknames are the ones people don't know they have. | |
Sorry I didn't respond to the work email you sent me while I was out living my life. | |
You're one of the few friends I enjoy being with more in person than on Facebook. | |
Here's to pretending that everything changes when the year does. 🥳 | |
How do I block you in real life? | |
I think it's weird how some days I feel skinny and some days I feel like a busted can of biscuits. | |
I'm sorry you didn't appreciate my sarcasm. Next time I will just punch you in the face. 🥊 | |
I can always rely on you to be unreliable. | |
I legit stress out about stress before there's even stress to be stressing out about. | |
Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated cause of human suffering. -Peter Levine | |
Your triggers and emotional reactions are reminders of what still needs to be healed. | |
The cost of not following your heart is spending the rest of your life wishing you had. | |
Sometimes people pretend you're a bad person so they don't feel guilty about the things they did to you. | |
You are not lazy, unmotivated, or stuck. After years of living your life in survival mode, you are stuck. There's a difference. -Nakeia Homer | |
A soul that carries empathy is a soul that has survived enormous pain. -Jam Alker | |
You are not the darkness you endured. You are the light that refused to surrender. -John Mark Green | |
Those scars you have accumulated are the markings of a warrior. -Darla Evans | |
Sometimes I wonder if any guy has ever seen me and wished he had enough courage to talk to me and/or ask me out on a date. | |
It's like one day you flipped a switch and became someone I never knew. | |
I am really tired of forcing friendships. | |
I act different around certain people. It's not because I'm fake. It's because I have a different comfort zone around certain people. | |
I want to go on a romantic picnic date. 🧺 | |
I've dated someone for his money. | |
I hope one day I'll receive flowers from a man. 💐 | |
I'm dating my boss...he treats me like 💩 but I don't want to end things, because I'm afraid he'll fire me. | |
I would never date a guy younger than me. | |
Dear Life, I don't need a traumatic experience to teach me a lesson. You could have just sent me an email. | |
Unpopular opinion: Divorced parents shouldn't date again until their kids are 18. | |
I try to avoid things that make me fat. Like scales, mirrors, and photographs. | |
Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood. | |
🩷 I hope you have a wonderful day! 🩷 |
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