January 10, 2009 at 1:05pm
Mood: numb
Music: Loose Ends- Imogen Heap
Subject: Ugh...

I've just been so 'ugh' recently.
I really need someone to talk to, but I don't have anyone.
Things are crashing down all around me, and I always feel sad or numb.
If I'm doing something mindless, like going on the computer or studying or watching tv, then I'm numb--but when I actually think, I'm sad.

I should probably change my mood to sad now.

I'm moving.

I'm not sad about leaving my friends because, quite frankly, I don't have any good friends here. My family is my friends.

It's a long story, but I have to choose between moving to Florida to live with my dad, or moving to Ohio to live with my mom.
I'm so torn. I love them both... a lot. My mom is my best friend, but I hate my step dad. She's in denial and won't listen to me. She always gets mad to me about him. I'm just... tired of it. I've tried to get along with him many times, but it's impossible because of all he's done in my childhood. I just hate it.
I have no reason NOT to live with my dad other than because of my mom. But now I know what people go through when they move and leave their best friend behind.

Oh god, now I'm crying.
Anyway.
I still don't know what I'm going to do.
So... sorry for... not getting on... again.
I'm just... I need someone to talk to. Anyone. I don't care. I'm tired of bottling this in. It's eating me away from inside.

);

~Nerdishh

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November 6, 2008 at 7:19pm
Mood: tired
Subject: Overworked?

Homework sucks.
As it limits my computer time.
And that limits my time to make surveys.
Which has been zip recently.

Apologies.
D:

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October 20, 2008 at 7:55pm
Mood: sick
Music: Sarah Bareilles - Love Song
Subject: Halloween!

It's that time of year again! No, not Christmas--Halloween!

I think it just hit me how close Halloween was yesterday. My mom finally got out the Halloween decorations, and I offered to help her put them outside. When I opened the door--WHAM! A frigid gust whipped at my face. That is the weather I love, fall weather. Enough with the pansy warm weather, let's get to the nitty-gritty cold!

After the decorating was complete, I came back inside, windswept. I couldn't believe how many memories were coming back to me in such a short amount of time. It made me feel like putting my costume on already!

I remembered carving pumkpins every year with my siblings and mom, and I remembered running around with my brother and sister to every house we could, filling our pillowsacks with candy. And then, when we would get tired, we still wouldn't stop. We would literally drag our feet up those steps to the next house, and sleepily say, "Trick or Treat!" when they would open the door. Then I remember running back to the house, going in the living room, turning the TV on to Cartoon Network, and dumping out my candy on the floor. My siblings and I would trade, laugh, and eat as much candy as we pleased--until bed time, of course. My mom, when we were younger, would check to see if our candy was poisined. Then I guess she trusted us enough that we would trow away any opened ones.

Once we were filled and exhausted, we would slug off to bed, only to be awoken the next morning for school.

I have been waiting all my life for Halloween to be on a Friday. And just my luck, when it actually is, one of my friends is having a party. I'm not going to the party, though. I'm going to go trick or treating with my siblings, just like we did all those years ago. I'm going to dump my candy on the table, (unfortunatley we have a dog now and cannot put it on the floor), and trade with them. Then, of course, I will climb upstairs and stay up all night. (; There's no way I'm wasting this Friday!

So what are YOUR favorite Halloween memories? If you take a little bit to remember them, I promise it'll be worth it. ^__^

Have a happy and safe Halloween!

Nerdishh,
*click*

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