December 31, 1969 at 5:06pm
Mood: artistic
Music: "Half of my heart" By John Mayor
Subject: I was made to believe I'd never love somebody

Hey there :)
I've come to a few conclusions lately.
Sometimes, the hardest part about moving on, is just accepting that the other person will to. Know what I mean?
It's easy enough to say that you're done and ready to move on. But when you hear that the other person has too....well let's face it. It hurts.
This hasn't happened to me necessarily. But it may have. I'm not sure yet.
"Heaven forbid,
you end up alone.
Hold on tight,
wait for tomorrow,
it'll be alright."
-The Fray
I don't even know. My life is pretty good right now, but it's very routine and not boring but...predictable. I suppose.
Wow, now that I think of it...all of my friends (the majority anyways) are in relationships....
Lauren E- J
Lauren B- V
Jenn- E
Kirsten- C
Jade- A
I guess that that's it...but it seems like a lot for some reason.
I looked up 'sad songs' playlists on google....and I got a bunch of crap. Seriously people. You do not know music. When I want a sad song I'm not gonna listen to frickin Snoop dog. Gahd.
I had one of those really bad days yesterday. My school day was stressful and crappy. I had to work after school...and while working my phone spazzed out and broke...then 10 minutes after this my ipod froze. Damn. It was rough.
5 hours later....
Dance class was intense.
So on wednesdays we have this teacher...and she's very nice but she is an extreme push over and she plays country...so that 2 against 1. Anyway we all kind of fuck around in that class because we know she wont yell at us. We aren't tooo bad but we are kinda loud and yeah.
So anyways, this one chick...who's not really part of the group...let's call her...Ashley. Ashley starts yelling at all of us the second the teacher walks out of the room to be quiet and shit. She gets blank stares from us. Then she starts crying and runs out of the room.
Soo about 5 minutes later, she still isn't back. So i decide to go look for her....but i can't find her anywhere!
Gahd. Dancers are either bitches or drama queens.
allalallaa.
Peace. :)

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November 8, 2009 at 12:22am
Mood: bouncy
Subject: Ain't nothin like them...winter nights?

Hey there :)
Soo. It's been a good day. a good night. and hopefully the rest of the night will be good as well.
Woke up around 12:30. decided that my saturday was already gone so went back to bed untill around five.
Went to E's. We made 2 pizzas, burned one. made another one. Undercooked it.
Hhaahha. I went to the mini fridge in the garage to get more coke, then remembered that scene in 'scream' where the chick goes to get more beer than gets sucked up into the garage door....so i freaked out. Then ended up smacking my face on the side of the fridge. :((((
Most idiotic moment ever.
Played video games for the next several hoursss.
Ummm. Now I'm home waiting to go out again.
Two of my stalkers contacted me.
Blehh.
This upcomming week looks promising. we get wednesday off which will be soooo nice :))
I had this really weird dream last night/this afternoon. All i really remember about it is that i was at this health food store, and this one guy (whom i have a very interesting history with) was there walking around without a shirt on. but it didn't loook anything like him..you know how dreams are. Anyway. then my phone like sppaaazzeed out and sent all of my messages to my whole contacts list and it was probably the worst feeling in the world. it was very nice to wake up :) haha. phones can seriously ruin your life if you think about it.
damn.
"Away, away.
They'll get away.
I keep on retaking the photographs they will never change:
The way we kiss goodbye,
The way we hold our hands,
The way we walk alone,
The way we have no plans,
This is something that I'd like to forget.
Aren't those just the cutest lyrics ever?? ahh :) I thrive off of songs like this.
xoxox.
Byee.

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November 2, 2009 at 9:28pm
Mood: mellow
Music: "Baby blue eyes" -A rocket to the moon
Subject: BOO :D

Hello people. :)
So halloween was full of it. Weirdo trick or treaters. Parties. Costume mishaps. Supid boys. Techno music. New friends. ahhh. :) i love being a dork and writting lists.
Hmm. Yes. I love halloween, but honestly...I think that it induces the most drama of any holiday. It's absolutely ridiculous. Of course, this drama never directly involves me. I don't do that. But all of my drama magnet friends come to me with a million and one stories about different stupid things and well? it gets old. Ty had some good ones though :) hehehe.
I had several different costumes. For work I was a bunny, which made me feel lame and generic but I had bunny ears from easter soo i figured....easy costume.
For trick or treating with myyy baby cousin I was a mail..woman. hhee. It was hawt.
For parties I was a bball player. Most comfy costume ever...My brothers jersey, spandex shorts. converse. good to go :) no, i did not look like a complete whore, contrary to what you may think.
hEhe.
If you happen to be on youtube, look up 'community channel'. this girl is my new hero. I wish i was australian...and asian. ahhh. wouldn't life just be grand?
Listening to a cd mix i just got today. I love it. Some techno. Some parachute. ahhh :D loveee.
So Ty and i have this debate coming up in public speaking class, our position is against 'Censorship of entertainment'. we honestly don't care too much about the topic, it was given to us. But it's pretty interesting. Our case may be slightly difficult to argue what with the whole pornography issue...but i bet we'll still dominate.
Peace.
:)

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October 20, 2009 at 9:07pm
Mood: contemplative
Music: "Sleep, everyone" By Powerspace
Subject: Sex makes things complilcated.

Hey there :)
So to repeat my subject box---sex makes everything complicated. It brings out emotions you didn't know you could have. It makes you never wanna see someone again....and it makes you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. I don't know. It's difficult.
However, sometimes I think that a kiss can be stronger than sex itself. You think so? Maybe not. I read somewhere once that a kiss was the most intimate thing you could ever do with someone. And when you think about it, it's kind of true. When you're kissing someone you're sharing their breath. That's intenseee.
Haha. I'm so not an emotional attached person like that though.
I'm not a whore, but I don't get attached and I don't usually take things to seriously.
Whatever. That's just who I am.
It's all misty and cool outside. I kinda like it. Emma and I went down to the asian station (haha---) and got some mountain dew cause we're crazy like that. Did you know that mountain dew has the most caffeine out of every other soda? It's my favorite. :)
Twilight guys are gross. Edward looks pretty hot with all the effects and stuff but in real life...well, robert pattinson is pretty gross. And "Jacob"''s face honestly isn't thaaat cute, but he has a DAMN nice body, if I may say so.
Of course I may, this is myy own freaking blog.

"Cause it's all stuck in my subconscious
Built up from every day
So I'm stuck with these nightmares
Where you're gone and so far away

And when I wake up
I realize that everything's still wrong
I'm still here and you're still gone
It's not fair
Cause either way I spin it
Separation seems so wrong
These breaks are far too long for me"

-Fabulous song. But makes me want to cry.
I miss my best friend. He's such a dummy. He's turned into such a major pot head. Which I honestly don't mind, but he's always too stoned to ever have a decent conversation with me anymore. It's really horrible to see him fading away like this. I love him so much. But I don't like who he's turning into at all.
So here I am. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know who to turn to. I don't know if I'm completely happy or absolutely miserable. I don't know fucking anything.
Whateverr. :))
Peace out People.

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October 18, 2009 at 10:38am
Music: The creepy techno thats on channel 933 this time of night.
Subject: A night for discovering truths.

Hello web people =)
(on my dumb ass lap top soo...bare with me pleasee)
So I have had an interesting night.
Played wii with my best friend for much too long. Had a way deep talk about life and death with this bestfriend.
Found on that my ex boyfriend really did have sex with that girl.
Its been....enlightening.
I know that there are certain people you just cant trust with your heart no matter how good their intentions may have been.
I know that life is so much bigger than what see and think about every day of our lives.
I know that Im not saying anything that hasnt been said before.....but all this has just now been actually relevant to my life.
By the way, mario kart wii is hella fun.
Here is what I want to say to him, but I dont know if I have the heart...
Dear KP,
I dont even know what to say to you anymore. All I know are the facts. You had sex with C after we admitted to eachother that we liked eachother and so officially had a thing. Maybe Im just weird....and I dont mean that sarcastically....but in my world thats just fucked up. So we dated, and pretty much all of it was pretty amazing. Then we broke up. But we both still had feelings for eachother, and you told me you only cared for me and were going to win me back. Then C comes up to me in class and says this.....Hey could you give K his phone charger? He left it at my house this weekend. SKETCH AS HELL. And when i confronted you about this you denied doing anything with her. Maybe you are telling the truth and maybe you arent. But basically, Im a human being. I dont deserve this. If you like me, like me...and treat me well. If you dont, leave me the hell alone. I dont deserve to be messed with like this. No one does. I still cant wrap my mind around the fact that we liked eachother, and then I go on vacation for a week...and you go screwing another girl. Come on man, thats not cool. Imagine how thats supposed to make me feel. Imagine if I had done the same thing. You would freak out and you know it. So I guess I figured out what to say to you....no more of this. We can still be friends i suppose, Im not going to delete you from my phone or whatever. But whatever chance we had of getting back together is gone now. It has to be...or I officially have no self respect. I deserve someone who isnt gonna mess around with me. Or other girls like that.....thats not fair to C either. She was crazy about you and you just used that for sex. That makes you a pig and an ass hole. Get a life.
Yeah that feels good.
=)
Bye Byee

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