Topic: The Vent Thread
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chasingghosts


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Posted: 11 Sep 2013 04:43 AM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
Okay, so this afternoon I picked my friend up from school and as we were driving away, these two sophomore girls were standing on the side of the road, sneering like they always do but I always ignore, but I had an impulse to yell a very bad word out of my window at them. I had to stop at the intersection up the road, so they chased after me and were yelling things like, "What did you say?" and "Get out of your car and fight me!" and including a lot of bad words into their sentences.
I'm not the person to yell at people or start conflicts, so I really don't know why I did it. But my paranoia has gotten the best of me and I'm so scared that they'll find me at school and harass me, start taking their weird issues out on my sisters at school after I leave, or find my car when it's parked in town and vandalise it.
The first issue isn't that bad, because I only have two days of school left until I'm finished forever, and I can keep a friend with me for back-up in case they do start shit. The second issue is bothering me a bit, because nobody messes with my sisters. The third issue is the worst because there is no way I could ever prove they've vandalised my car, they would definitely get away with it, and trust me, they are the type of people to do things like that.
I'm just stressing about this a great deal and I'm nervous and paranoid and can't get my mind off it.
navmav117


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Posted: 12 Sep 2013 11:12 PM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
My in-laws are coming to visit this weekend on their way to a cruise, and I'm a bit peeved at my father-in-law because he wanted my husband and I to go behind the backs of the couple we're renting our house from about having my mother-in-law's dog here for the week that they're on their cruise. And my in-laws live six hours away, they're going unreasonably far out of their way to bring the dog here, and the only reason is because my mother-in-law is so overly attached to the dog that she refuses to have anyone other than my husband and I watch the dog while they're on vacation. My in-laws have a ton of relatives where they live, so we asked my father-in-law if there seriously weren't any other family members who could watch the dog, and his dad said no, we're the only ones, and he said to not let my mother-in-law know that we asked about it because "she'd be heartbroken" if she knew that we were unsure about being allowed to have her dog in our rental house. But what if the dog damages something? What if a neighbor calls the homeowners and tells them their tenants have a dog in the house?
We called the homeowners anyways and were upfront with them and said his dad was basically guilt-tripping us into watching the dog, and we convinced them it would be alright. His dad is upset that we were honest, because there was a chance they could have said no and then my mother-in-law wouldn't have wanted to go on the cruise if her dog couldn't stay with us. But now I'm starting to wonder... are my in-laws seriously going to drive six hours to drop their dog off at our house every time they want to go on vacation somewhere? Just because my mother-in-law is so neurotic about my husband and I being the absolute only people "worthy" enough of taking care of her beloved dog?? Jeeeez.
- Kelly -
xxakqkxx


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Posted: 01 Nov 2013 02:26 PM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
I don't want to do anything on my day off seriously. I only do it because I'm forced to...
trying to search for a purpose
I am Ari. ilyNancy
I am worth it.
dreams are achievable
Way to my heart is owls
kellyburnsred


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Posted: 05 Mar 2014 02:03 PM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
"Two Sides"

My head:
What are you stupid?
Why are you believing his lies again?
Why are you letting him control you?
You don't need this right now
Focus on yourself
STOP CARING
It has been going on for too long
Enough is enough
Get over him
You don't need him
You are much better off
Move on
Stop letting him in
What are you doing fool?
He always does this
My heart:
Keep holding on
Never let go
Don't give up on him
Encourage him
Love him
Believe in him
Trust him
Don't argue just trust what he says
Have faith in everything he does
Don't sweat the small stuff
Just care for him
Be positive
You've known him for 4 years
He would never purposely hurt you
You know that

I just wish for once my heart and my head would stop fighting each other and work together. That way I can relax for once. Just stop fighting everyone/everything around me is always fighting or yelling or upset.
I can't take it anymoreeeee!
You're so down to earth
&& I'm up in the stars
So show me the sea
&& I'll take you to mars
xxakqkxx


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Posted: 13 Mar 2014 06:58 PM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
I swear I hate everyone who spreads gossip at my work. Word spreads like a forest wild fire. Mind your business, it's not your life so why are you worried about it!?
trying to search for a purpose
I am Ari. ilyNancy
I am worth it.
dreams are achievable
Way to my heart is owls
scream


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Posted: 06 Apr 2014 01:29 AM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
Today, my phone lied to me. It clearly stated that it was negative seven Celsius outside, but then when I went to the library, it felt like positive three Celsius. I will forgive my phone later, but I don't think I will begin to trust its judgment.
I think it is funny how us Canadians feel like positive three Celsius is considered summer weather. I actually felt hot in my vintage man coat while walking to the library that would be closing in less than ten minutes. According to my brain, I seem to hate being late but always end up doing things at the wrong time, and this time it was going to the library.
I didn't really have a plan when I was walking to the library; I think I just agreed to go because I wanted to walk somewhere, maybe to even avoid tasks I needed to do at home. I kind of wish I wasn't becoming my mother. It is happening gradually, I can feel it. An example would be this spring break where I did not have the motivation to study or do anything productive until the last few days before school. My mother could be called the Queen of Procrastination, but then I wouldn't be so modest having such. I think she just falls into this category smoothly. I mean, the kitchen is definitely not a kitchen thanks to her not feeling motivated to keep it like a kitchen. When I am at my boyfriend's house, or anyone's house really, their kitchens are more like kitchens. I cannot really describe the feeling of being in a kitchen, but it is definitely gone when I am in my kitchen.
Anyway, when I arrived at the library, the announcer already said, "The library will be closing in five minutes," so I knew I had to be quick about whatever I was deciding on doing. I went through the fiction aisles of books to see if I can at least grab a book from a familiar author, Jim Patterson. As I was looking, I did try to open new books with interesting titles and read the reading style and everything, but then I felt it was a waste of time, because I really need to read the first chapter before I can decide if it is something I'd like to read. In the end, I couldn't find any book and any Jim Patterson; they seemed to have changed his location. It didn't bother me, as I was walking out of the library, because I knew it would take me even longer to decide which Jim Patterson book I should take. His series are confusing, because he never numbers them, so I wouldn't know if I would be spoiled by reading the wrong book. I'd have to come back later to figure out which books of his I should take.
It wouldn't matter anyway, since I am the type of person to read only one book at a time, and I was currently reading something at the time. The book is called "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," and I thought this book is interesting, because the protagonist reminds me of my old friend, Liuxin. He is definitely a friend I could talk about for an hour or so, but I can do that some other time. I'll just say he reminded me of Liuxin, because he was shy, observant, and, well, a "wallflower." Although he did not do any of the drug or sexual parts of this character, he sure did think like him. Since our friendship is actually over, it would seem like this cannot be him anymore, but that's okay, because there is also a moment in the story where the girl and the protagonist are not friends for a while. They quickly become friends again, and I really hope this happens to me and Liuxin.
xxakqkxx


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Posted: 07 Apr 2014 10:10 AM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
Can barely sleep, takes me half and hour to and hour to fall asleep and get comfy. I hate having back aches, hate feeling nauseas, hate my belly and pelvic pains, hate it all!!!!!!
trying to search for a purpose
I am Ari. ilyNancy
I am worth it.
dreams are achievable
Way to my heart is owls
chasingghosts


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Posted: 07 Apr 2014 10:15 AM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
I've only been here for a day and I've already copped shit for being a female. It's assumed that I don't know what I'm doing because I have different genitalia, and I can tell by the way people have looked at me that they think I'm just some dumb groupie here to keep the boys in the band "satisfied". NO! I'm here as a sound technician, just like the rest of them.
xxakqkxx


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Posted: 07 Apr 2014 11:13 AM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
I'm not hungry for much anymore. I used to eat for like five lol
trying to search for a purpose
I am Ari. ilyNancy
I am worth it.
dreams are achievable
Way to my heart is owls
sweetdistraction
s



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Posted: 07 Apr 2014 02:42 PM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
Doing the wrong thing makes me happy.
being with the wrong people makes me happy.
I hate this confusion. He told me today he is confused about what he wants, as if I would just take him back. I just hate this whole situation.

on another note, I wish I had an academic reference already, I can't waste any more time.
My name is Kelly

scream


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Posted: 07 Apr 2014 10:48 PM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
I couldn't stop crying last night. And I really didn't know why. Sometimes, when I am lying on my bed waiting for the dreams that don't seem to come, I get emotional over nothing. I always think that it's because I feel trapped in the world. I want to be successful, but I also want to not live for so long. Not many of the people who know me will agree on this, and so it made me cry even more. That's okay, for some reason today made it seem like I hadn't cried or thought of suicide at all. My body and mind just, I guess, got over it.
Surprisingly, a week away from school did not change a thing in the school's atmosphere as I walk towards my locker this morning. It felt strange, but in a calming, "I can do this," strange. It felt nice, really. Today was a day where I wanted to begin progress in my study habits, and even though I had only four hours of sleep, I had an energy to me.
I can't quite control the second, most hated of mine, personality that seems to love making appearances during social interaction. I hate this personality so much, but I get anxiety if I become the quiet, "study is cool," girl that I feel comfortable with. Already people started asking if I was feeling okay today. It's as if they even know my second personality is terrible to live with. I want it to change, but I also want to keep my social life accordingly.
To be honest, I kind of even confessed this to a friend today that I hate being social. I don't mind having one or two friends, but it seems I gain friends so easily with this second personality. Sometimes I just wish I could reset my friendships with some people and act out on my first personality with them. I would already know that they wouldn't be as close to me as now with my second personality, but I kind of prefer it this way. However, my boyfriend advised me to be a little social and see how it can benefit me.
I just want people to be happy with me and not think I am someone they can look up to, because even though I can be, I don't have the energy or happiness to keep up. I honestly don't know how some people with over ten friends can do this, or five or four friends. I mean, while I was waiting for my boyfriend in the hallway before school ended, I saw this guy, and he looked pretty popular in the social arena to me, but I wouldn't know; I just imagined it for a second. He was walking away from me and then held his arms up, showing peace signs with both hands. It was directed to someone, but when I looked, I saw multiple people respond to it, as if it was just for them and no one else. See, that's where I get confused: who was it really for? Were people embarrassed when they realized he might have possibly directed at someone other than them? This is why having many mutual friendships seems like hard work to me. I hate trying to satisfy people, but I cannot stop it. I am a middle child after all.
Anyway, the current book I am reading, The Aleph, is pretty interesting so far. I am at the part where the protagonist is on the train in Russia, and stopped at a town for two nights. His dialog is something I can relate to, besides the religion part. I sort of make up my own value whenever he mentions God or finding the light, whatever value that may be. (I haven't really thought about it.) I have absolutely no pink clothing to wear on the annual pink day coming up, and so I asked a friend of mine to borrow their pink shirt. It sort of felt nice having someone to help you in these weird situations, and now I am kind of thankful for following my boyfriend's advice. In the end, I told this friend a little story that I read in The Aleph, and that is, "A man was asked to stay on top a mountain for one whole night to receive a reward, and this man agreed." (Just so you know, I could never tell it this literate, I kind of stumbled and repeated a lot of things of this story when I told it.) "When this man found out the mountain was rather tall and would be very cold during the night, he confided his friend on what to do about this offer. His friend told him not to worry, because on that night where he would go on top the mountain, his friend said he would be on the opposite mountain facing him, with a warm fire lit just for him. His friend said that the fire will remind you of their friendship and keep you warm for the whole night. His friend only asked for him to return after receiving his reward and then give him something he wanted. After that night, the man returned to his friend like he promised he would, and asked his friend what did he want from this favor, and his friend said, 'I want you to light the fire on the opposite mountain whenever the time comes that I stand on a mountain for the whole night.'" I think this little story was helpful, because it showed me that I should appreciate my friend's help and let them know I can do the same back to them.
xxakqkxx


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Posted: 09 Apr 2014 10:30 AM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
I have a very sharp pain going thru my abdomen right now ugh. He can't come fast enough.
trying to search for a purpose
I am Ari. ilyNancy
I am worth it.
dreams are achievable
Way to my heart is owls
kellyburnsred


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Posted: 19 May 2014 06:31 PM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
If you have an answering machine, you have to be careful of what you put as your answering machine message, a good example of what to use might be "Hey I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, please leave your name, a number, and brief message after the tone, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible". A not so smart message would be "Yo, Yo, Yo, this is little T! How you doin? You callin ma phone, juz hit me up!" just reading that you're probably thinking to yourself "What did I just read, or in this case hear?"
You're so down to earth
&& I'm up in the stars
So show me the sea
&& I'll take you to mars
xxakqkxx


Posts: 31186
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Posted: 22 May 2014 08:54 AM         Subject: RE: The Vent Thread
My son is my world. I love him more than anything. If anything ever happened to him I would be crushed, heartbroken and torn. Raymond Vincent momma loves you more than life itself. You're goin to grow up to be an amazing little boy! MWAH
trying to search for a purpose
I am Ari. ilyNancy
I am worth it.
dreams are achievable
Way to my heart is owls
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