Topic: Dirty Little Secrets IX
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mystery-egg


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Posted: 28 May 2020 07:05 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I don't know how to tell anyone that I'm terrified of moving into a house without anyone but myself, but I know it will be better for me in the long run to have my own space. I'm terrified mostly because of how my old home was broken into and I was attacked when I was trying to sleep... but maybe I should get a dog? Maybe that will help with the fear and apprehension.
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chasingghosts


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Posted: 29 May 2020 09:23 AM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
^ That sounds super scary.

Negative and toxic people cling to me. It's an ongoing thing. It's like they pick up on my energy that I'll be nice and supportive, but they drag me down and I can't stand up for myself or just cut them out, so they take advantage of me. It's been happening since I was like, 12-13 years old. My "friends" treat me like shit, emotionally abuse me. They take and take and take and give me nothing worth a real friendship.
mystery-egg


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Posted: 29 May 2020 11:28 AM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
^ Thank you. It is... but I know it'll be better for me in the long run. :)

^ Oh no! You deserve much better than that. I'm sorry that's happening to you. :(

Sometimes I wish I could just disappear.
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pinkchocolate


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Posted: 29 May 2020 09:02 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
Sometimes I feel as though I'm different from others, in some way that can't be understood or explained, and because of that, I'm not worthy of happiness, love or success. Eventually I manage to push these thoughts aside, tell myself I'm being silly. But those are the kind of thoughts that creep into my head sometimes when I'm alone.
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mystery-egg


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Posted: 30 May 2020 06:34 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I know most artists do it for the fame... but I hate the idea of doing what I do well enough to draw all that attention to me, and losing the spark that makes me do it in the first place: freedom of speech, and the need to discuss what's hard to discuss through art.
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pinkchocolate


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Posted: 30 May 2020 08:51 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I've recently started to feel as though things in my life have always been compromised. As though, in one way or another, I've always settled for the second best option.
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chasingghosts


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Posted: 30 May 2020 09:06 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I think I might have a genetic predisposition to schizophrenia. I have several cousins who have been diagnosed that I'm aware of. In certain circumstances and times in my life, I've nearly lost myself. I've gotten pulled into this deep hole of paranoia and delusions. Basically, I think everyone is out to get me. But it's more than just thoughts, it's a feeling. When you feel like every tiny little thing is a trap or a trick that's designed to persecute you or humiliate you or take advantage of you, that starts to affect the way you behave in life and with other people. I think I'm lucky though because I've recognised that this can happen at all, and I am learning the triggers, so I'm usually able to pull myself out of it by making positive changes in my life before it gets worse.
badomen


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Posted: 30 May 2020 11:58 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
i don’t think i can be in your traditional monogamous relationship. it’s just not for me.
chasingghosts


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Posted: 01 Jun 2020 02:33 AM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I want to talk to a therapist but I honestly don't know how.
pinkchocolate


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Posted: 01 Jun 2020 08:56 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
As a teenager, I was bullied a lot, and always felt I was never quite accepted or liked, in the same way as others. I think as a result of this, I've become quite a needy person who, in one way or another, always requires validation from others. There is some part of me that always longs to know that I'm accepted and liked.
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chasingghosts


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Posted: 04 Jun 2020 06:33 AM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I've always had such big goals but I'm starting to think (and realise) that they aren't destined to be.
pinkchocolate


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Posted: 04 Jun 2020 10:49 PM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I used to be a person who talked about my emotions. I felt that it was important to talk about emotions, maybe not all the time, but sometimes. Sometimes you just had to say exactly what you felt, that was how I saw it. But lately I've started to feel as though talking about such things isn't appropriate or necessary, and I keep most of my thoughts and feelings to myself.
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badomen


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Posted: 08 Jun 2020 06:06 AM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
i messed everything up as i always do.
chasingghosts


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Posted: 09 Jun 2020 06:12 AM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I don't know what my journey in life should be, but I need to start making steps to get there.
mystery-egg


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Posted: 09 Jun 2020 11:36 AM         Subject: RE: Dirty Little Secrets IX
I was gang raped three times by three people in the span of a week, which caused me to break from reality and be hospitalized. I'm a virgin... and now I'm just scared that I'll always be scared of getting close to anyone. If I'd known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have waited five years for a woman who would never be ready to fully commit to me as my girlfriend. Everything is so effed up.
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