Topic: Nothing special.
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professorchaos


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Posted: 12 Feb 2011 03:26 AM       Subject: Nothing special.
Well, I've never posted here before, and I feel like I should. I always write, and I'm too scared to show people. And in order to improve, I need some criticism.
I'm aware that I'm not great, but I'll get better.

This, I wrote for my mother, but I've never showed it to her. She doesn't know how much it kills me.

Two fingers weakly wrapped around a cigarette,
As smoke slowly spreads through air not yet breathed.
Into this precious air, releases the sinister stench of chemical death.
But this isn't as evil as it once seemed. No, It's become routine.

The wrinkles she bears upon her skin are deepened by this deadly vice.
And though she appears aged, there seems to be no wisdom behind it.
She kills herself softly with her sordid addiction
And death slowly settles upon her feeble old body.
Still she does not know how much she's given for a poisoned stick of betrayal.



Here's another for the hell of it.

This pain doesn't reflect in the mirror,
It's well hidden behind the shame and self inflicted scars.
And I'll tally up every fucking miserable moment
On this canvas of mine just begging to feel the pain.

This internal hate breaks me.
It's okay, I hate
me too.
I'll smile while people walk by, and I'll curse the whole the rest of the time.
I'll wish these scars upon them.
No, not the ones that stain my skin,
The ones that burn me deep within.
But they don't deserve it, I do.
And I'll tell it to myself everyday until I believe it.


A little stupid, but that's okay. I like to write crappy stuff too.

I feel like I'm explaining too much because I'm nervous. I'll shut up now.

I am Professor Chaos! Bringer of destruction and maker of doom!

-thoughtlessdork


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Posted: 12 Feb 2011 03:46 AM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
it's not stupid, it's always good to express yourself rather than to bottle things up i learned that the hard way, writing is art another form of expression which i indulge in myself either when i'm bored or have my random thought of words but back on topic, you're writing is good though I'm guessing your mom smokes and you wish she'd stop :/ i'm sorry, i think showing her could you know make her aware that her smoking is affecting you just as much as its affecting her, writing is like a self reflection also like a second voice where you form your words as there own volume so keep writing and expressing yourself you'll defiantly improve the way you want and be amazed.

it's okay to be nervous you'll get use to writing and sharing your work.

http://www.formspring.me/PurpleVomit

keena
Gemini ❤ 12 02 09
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I'm searching for my piece of light, it rains, it pours
I'll find my way but please don't leave me here again All alone.
professorchaos


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Posted: 12 Feb 2011 03:53 AM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
I'l definitely write more and share more. And yes, my mother smokes and it's pretty emotional for me, so I chose to write about stuff like that. For me it's not so much about writing well, but writing about what matters to me.
And thank you very much. I really appreciate it.
I am Professor Chaos! Bringer of destruction and maker of doom!

-thoughtlessdork


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Posted: 12 Feb 2011 04:07 AM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
it's good to write it helps a lot channel how you feel inside, i can only imagine how hard it is for you to see your mom do that everyday I hope she stops if not for her but for you. keep writing about what matters to you and what you've witnessed or experienced. and your most welcome (;

http://www.formspring.me/PurpleVomit

keena
Gemini ❤ 12 02 09
Occupation; Dorky punkie Junkie Chick
I'm searching for my piece of light, it rains, it pours
I'll find my way but please don't leave me here again All alone.
sirloinofbeef


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Posted: 12 Feb 2011 02:25 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
I actually think this is beautiful, in a sad way, but beautiful nonetheless.
Someone I love very much smokes also, and so do both my parents, so, i'm really touched by this, I teared up a little.
You shouldn't be nervous! This is wonderful, i hope I get to read more of your work.<3
Today everything's a conflict of interest.
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professorchaos


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Posted: 12 Feb 2011 11:47 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
Thank you. <3 I'm sorry that you have to go through it as well, but I'm glad that someone understands. Also, I'm glad that you liked it and I'll definitely post more.

And Keena, thanks again. You're lovely :]
I am Professor Chaos! Bringer of destruction and maker of doom!

jez


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Posted: 13 Feb 2011 03:47 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
My Mom has smoked since she was nine. She's also a cancer survivor..
So, it's kind of a big deal to me that she still does it.

I disagree with you, i think this is very, very, special.
I'm not a writer,
I can't write, I can't even spell.
So what I say doesn't really apply;
but i've always thought the arbitrary rule for writing well is to be passionate about your subject-matter.
And you clearly are that. There's a lot of raw emotion.. And, as far as I am concerned, that's why all the greatest writers were so great.
(One of my favorite writers doesn't even use punctuation, but he's a master.)
They just let themselves bleed the words out. And it's all very human, and beautiful.
I think that's what you're doing here, and I think it's amazing.
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sweetdistraction
s



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Posted: 13 Feb 2011 03:51 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
I agree with everyone here, you're a really good writer. You should keep it up.

My mother is a chain-smoker. My Mum's side of the family has a history of dying rather young, so this really concerns me.
I hope you post more poems!! : D
My name is Kelly

professorchaos


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Posted: 13 Feb 2011 09:45 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
Thank you guys so much, it really means a lot. I think I feel better about my writing now, and next time I'm having doubts about writing or posting, I'm just going to do it.
Also, it's sad to see that people have to deal with this, and I really hope things work out well for you/whoever you're concerned for. <3
I am Professor Chaos! Bringer of destruction and maker of doom!

xkatyxconspiracy


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Posted: 14 Feb 2011 04:44 AM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
Wow. Those were both very beautiful, albeit sad and painful, but beautiful nevertheless.
You have a very intricate and complex way of weaving your words together, and I'm really quite jealous of that.

These are fantastic. I really hope that you'll post more of your work, because I'd love to read more by you. <3
Would it be okay if I took your breath a w a y ?
professorchaos


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Posted: 15 Feb 2011 12:03 AM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
That's really special coming from you, Katy. :] From what I've seen on here, you're a really good writer. So thanks <3

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holloway


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Posted: 21 Feb 2011 05:39 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
I don't understand why you think these are stupid. They're amazing. I know several people who smoke as well, and this just amazed me. I love it.
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and everything is screaming
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just to find my heart is beating"
dreamgirl213


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Posted: 21 Feb 2011 10:42 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
Those were really good, you're an amazing writer. Especially with the smoking one. I don't see why you think that their crappy. It's okay to be nervous when you first share work though :).










This life's too long, and this love's too strong
professorchaos


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Posted: 29 Apr 2011 11:40 PM         Subject: RE: Nothing special.
Thank you, guys <3 Sorry, I haven't been on to reply till now. It means a lot. And I'm still writing poems. I'll probably post them soon.
I am Professor Chaos! Bringer of destruction and maker of doom!

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