Topic: Caged.
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xkatyxconspiracy


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Posted: 24 Dec 2010 03:59 AM       Subject: Caged.
This is something I wrote within the last few minutes.
The comparison/symbolism is pretty lame, I must admit.
So yeah.
________________________________

Like a bird in a cage, I waited. I waited for someone to set me free.
I waited for days, weeks, months and years.
Nobody ever came.
Nobody ever saved me from my cage of depression and loneliness.
I thought myself to be insignificant, too unworthy to be released from my shackles.
I started to hate myself. I started to derive a strange sense of comfort from my solitary detainment, for I felt ashamed of my own existence.
I did not want anyone to have to endure my torturous company.
Then one day, while hiding myself under my wings, I looked up.
You were standing in front of my cage.
I ignored you at first, thinking you were only there to belittle and ridicule me.
You visited me everyday.
Many, many weeks later, I finally allowed myself to look at you, to really look at you. I allowed myself to look into your eyes.
At that point, I was already half in love with you.
When I realized that, I began to hide again, to shelter myself under my wings.
I knew that you were only there because you pitied me, and I could not allow myself to be overcome with irrational emotion. I thought love to be a sentiment for fools.
But then one day you came to see me again, and in your hand, you held a key.
The key to my freedom.
The sound of the cage door flying open was music to my sheltered ears.
But I was scared. I was afraid to fly.
I looked up to you for comfort. I heard you say, “I'll always be there to catch you.”
I decided to take a chance. I put my trust and my life in your hands.
And when I stretched out my wings and flew out of that cage, I felt so lighthearted, so happy.
I relished in my new-found freedom.
And as it was, I never fell. I found it to be impossible to fall when you were by my side.
Just like that, days turned to weeks, weeks into months, and months into a year. I was still freed of my cage, and I was happier than ever.
But all of a sudden, you were no longer by my side. You grew tired of my presence, and like a plume of smoke in the wind, you were gone.
I suddenly found myself back inside my cage, with no one in sight to comfort me. I had nothing to do but dwell on my memories, on the mind-numbing, heart-breaking pain.
In that moment I knew, I had never felt more alone in my life.
Being caged the second time, it was so much worse. For I had experienced freedom, I had experienced love, the truest, most amazing love. And it had been torn right from underneath me.
I was back to where I had started, only I felt more lonely then I would have ever thought possible.
I missed you. I missed your touch, your laugh, your love. I missed the way I felt when you were by my side. The place where you belonged.

And here I am now, nearly four months later.
I'm still inside this cage. Still trapped within these walls of loneliness, self-loathing, and grief.
I still miss you. The pain I feel from your departure has manifested into a deep, physical ache.
And I still love you. More than you could ever fathom.
But I've finally realized something;
I can't sit here on my perch, waiting for you or someone else to come rescue me.
I can't sit here and wallow in self-pity, wasting away in my pain.
I have to take control of my life, for I am the only person who can set things straight.
So yes, I am still trying to find a way to fly beyond this pain. I'm still trapped within this cage.
But darling, I assure you, I am going to find my way out.
And this time, I shall do it on my own.
Because although I may still want you, I no longer need you.
It's time to spread my wings.
Would it be okay if I took your breath a w a y ?
-thoughtlessdork


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Posted: 24 Dec 2010 05:44 AM         Subject: RE: Caged.
I found this beautiful and sad but overall motivating
the whole time i was able to imagine you as this rare beautiful bird in a cage who was once free but then caged again i almost cried. your writing is always vivid where your able to paint a mental picture Katy one of the reasons why i love reading your work.i believe you'll be able to fly beyond the pain i faith in you never give up and never settle for less because you are worthy.<3

http://www.formspring.me/PurpleVomit

keena
Gemini ❤ 12 02 09
Occupation; Dorky punkie Junkie Chick
I'm searching for my piece of light, it rains, it pours
I'll find my way but please don't leave me here again All alone.
xkatyxconspiracy


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Posted: 24 Dec 2010 07:24 AM         Subject: RE: Caged.
Awwww, thank you so much, darlin'. <3333
You're such a sweetheart. ♥ :]]
Would it be okay if I took your breath a w a y ?
-thoughtlessdork


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Posted: 24 Dec 2010 12:31 PM         Subject: RE: Caged.
Your always very welcome hun.<3333
Keep writing i love your writing, D'awl'ness ^-^ takes one too know one c:

http://www.formspring.me/PurpleVomit

keena
Gemini ❤ 12 02 09
Occupation; Dorky punkie Junkie Chick
I'm searching for my piece of light, it rains, it pours
I'll find my way but please don't leave me here again All alone.
germ-x


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Posted: 26 Dec 2010 12:02 AM         Subject: RE: Caged.
Katy as always, your writing is amazing. This is seriously just like wuihlyguygdqwehuifwjwe. That good. :-p

I really love it, I'm so jealous of your talent. <33
xkatyxconspiracy


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Posted: 26 Dec 2010 06:56 AM         Subject: RE: Caged.
Awwwwwwwwldfkghjsldkfghjklaghfsdklfgjhdfsklghsdlfkghsdlfjkghlsdkjgh. <333
Thank you so much, Emerald. C: ♥
Would it be okay if I took your breath a w a y ?
holloway


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Posted: 08 Jan 2011 07:38 PM         Subject: RE: Caged.
Somehow, I knew I'd cry reading that.
You amaze me every time, Katy. <3
"When the sky turns gray
and everything is screaming
I will reach inside
just to find my heart is beating"
xkatyxconspiracy


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Posted: 12 Jan 2011 07:02 AM         Subject: RE: Caged.
Awhhhhhh. ♥ Thanks so much, Morganbby. ^-^ <333
Would it be okay if I took your breath a w a y ?
holloway


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Posted: 12 Jan 2011 01:41 PM         Subject: RE: Caged.
Welcome, Katybby. ^-^ <33
"When the sky turns gray
and everything is screaming
I will reach inside
just to find my heart is beating"
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