Topic: Check out my poem??
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mizshy95


Posts: 3
Pwned Newbie
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Posted: 16 Feb 2007 04:33 AM       Subject: Check out my poem??
Umm... random poem I made at schooll....

"Opposite Similarities"
Precious disaster,
So perfectly evil,
A real fake,
Insanely smart.
Feline wolf
Gliding through the ocean,
A lake of fire.
An earthly breeze,
Yellow skies,
Black stars.
Forget to wait,
Remember to leave.

Poems don't have to rhyme, right?


I just need some fair, honest judgment on this before i post it on deviantART.com.
kerianawilliams


Posts: 3667
Wannabe Rockstar
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Posted: 16 Feb 2007 07:27 PM         Subject: RE: Check out my poem??
Of course poems don't have to rhyme. Most of mine don't. However-- the poem confused me? It didn't seem to have a point besides stringing together nice, poeticly cryptic phrases. The end especially-- I thought you were describing a person, or perhaps a thing, and then you threw in feline wolf, and then the end just made me go "...eh?" because I really have no idea what the poem was -about-. Although, looking at the title, it was about opposites and the similarities therein-- which I can understand, to an extent, but at the same time, you might want to try to make it clearer in the poem itself?
remember when?
askme


Posts: 1696
Unstoppable Bzoinker
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Posted: 17 Feb 2007 09:17 PM         Subject: RE: Check out my poem??
Mizshy, I liked it. I think it could be better if it were longer and perhaps arranged into verses so the transition from subjects could be smoother.
"I rock so hard I should be studied by geologists." - Me.
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