Topic: This is hard to say..
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bubbles13


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Posted: 07 Sep 2009 09:03 PM       Subject: This is hard to say..
But, i think i need to go back to the meadows.
Examples of why?

I crave vodka.
I reallyy wanna get drunk.
I love being high.
I really wanna try drugs.
I really wann have sex.
I still have suidcal toughts
I cut yesterday, and am still so in love with cutting.
Still love to hurt myself
Still love to see my blood rush out of my skin.
Im still depressed most of the time.
I love acohol.
and im only 13.
daniellexx5xx


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Posted: 07 Sep 2009 09:08 PM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
Well, I sent this to you in a text when you told me about all that. But I'll say it again.

I've been having a lot of the same problem here lately, but haven't told anyone. There are still some things that I haven't told anyone. BUT, I'm glad you realize that you have a problem. That makes you seem all that much more aware of the situation, which is a good thing. If you think you need to go back to The Meadows, I think you should talk to your mom about it, and you should go if you think that's what you need. Mainly, because I would hate for anything, and I mean anything to happen to you, Bubbles. Also, just because you seem like you need the attention of professionals that can help you. * super huge mega ultra sized Bzoink hugs *
charey-chas


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Posted: 07 Sep 2009 09:08 PM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
i'm somewhat the same with those things, like with the drinking, depression, and sex, and i'm only 15.

all i can say, is i, as long as a lot of other bzoinkers, are here for you, if you need someone. and try not to get into anything that'll get you in much trouble or hurt you in the long wrong.
mizzshears


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Posted: 08 Sep 2009 06:44 AM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
:[
I think alot of young people though want to try all of those things, it's a part of growing up, but I think the reason as to why you want to do it might be the problem here. Like i'm sure alot of people want to do them things when they're only young is because they want to act old, there's peer preasure and they want to look/act cool.
Have a word with your mum and tell her how you feel, i'm sure she'll know what's best for you in the long run.
It's good that you know you have a problem though, it IS a sign of you getting better becuase you know that you need to do somehting about it.
Whatever you do we're all here for you, and good luck
xxxx
Nickname: Burdock





germ-x


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Posted: 08 Sep 2009 10:43 AM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
I agree with everyone else here. I think its really good that you recognize that you have a problem. And if you really think that you need to go back to the Meadows then you should definitely talk to someone about it. Surprisingly, talking to your parents can help out a lot sometimes. I hope everything gets better for you Bubbles. We love you! *super mega hugs*
standontheocean


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Posted: 08 Sep 2009 12:37 PM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
I was gonna text you about this but I thought it would be too long so...
it's REALLY good you recognize it. it's extremely responsible and i'm proud.
it's so rare that someone actually thinks that, it's usually denial, so please go with your guts on this one, and definitely follow through.
some of those things you said aren't too rare, except for the thoughts about hurting yourself, and those definitely deserve the professional attention.
applaud yourself for being so responsible about it, WANTING to get better is a HUGE step some people never take.
i think i've told you i've gone through similar things, and i've had to stay somewhere for it too, but i'm still depressed, and i'm 6 years older than you.. you have my # so feel free to text me about anything, okay? in fact, please do (if you want).
we all want to see you along your healing process.
love youuu<3
bubbles13


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Posted: 08 Sep 2009 04:53 PM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
Well, part of me knows that i shouldnt be having all these htoughts and need help but the other part just wants to kep this all to myself so i can just doing it. Cause i really like it. I'm pretty postive im one of those people who once you do it just one time, bamo your addicted. I first tried vodka, now i crave it and am basically addicted to it. I had tried cutting in 6th grade and well look where i am now. tried acohol first time in uh 6th grade? or 5th? now well i love acohol. i always ask my mom for some sips of her drink when im around her and she has some form of acohol. I tried sniffin some sharpies well...now during today i kept shaling because i was craving vodka and the smell of sharpies so bad. I tried being high, now i wanna keep doing it. and theres uh other examples but im not gonna sit here and type all about them. My point being thanks guys. i can always count on bzoinkers. I'm not gonna tell my mom just yet. i'm gonna talk to my theropist about this. And on bzoink (if you guys dont mind hearing about all my problems) it just helps me to let some stuff out. or i keep it all in and well then it builds up and i have a meltdown and cut. or something else.
mizzshears


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Posted: 09 Sep 2009 09:53 AM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
always feel free to post on here, whenever you feel like you need to do any of those things just come on here and talk about how you feel or something, by the time you've finishid you'll probablly realise it's not such a good idea in the first place xxx
Nickname: Burdock





bubbles13


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Posted: 10 Sep 2009 05:55 PM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
Thanks guys,
Well, i went to my theorpy today and talked about all these problems and well she is about in the middle, like me. Like she asked me if i think i should go back to the meadows and i said about how like part of me knows that this isnt right and i should go but the other part just wants to not get help and just keep doing it.
So, i have another session on wedsday.
and she said i should probley talk to my mom about all this.
xkelster462x


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Posted: 11 Sep 2009 10:40 AM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
Bubbles, I'm really late on this. But, I never cut but I have tried to overdose on pills. I have depression really bad. I just don't ever feel like I belong here. I know it sounds selfish but I'm serious.

When I go to school & I'm walking down the hall people actually run from me & move to the side & say "oh, she needs all the room she can get" because I'm fat but seriously I'm not that fat.

Just keep talking to your therapists. That's what you have them for. It's hard for me to talk about these things for awhile because then I get all emotional. So, I'm just going to stop. Everyone else said everything I wanted to say. Just know that some people are there for you. Just knowing that at least one person cares should be a good thing.


HANG IN THERE! THE WORSE THING YOU CAN DO IS QUIT!

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standontheocean


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Posted: 11 Sep 2009 10:48 AM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
I also have similar problems, and I know about the ambivalence you are feeling about choosing whether to go back or not. The part of you that's saying to let yourself keep doing it is the sickness, and you have to be mindful and realize that, and maybe override it with the part of you that knows better.
Good to hear you're talking to someone about it. Not sure about your relationship with your mom, but if you think she's good to talk to, definitely talk to her. Good luck girl. Text me whenever. I know you'll get through this, and once you're on the other end of it, you'll see things more clearly. <3
bubbles13


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Posted: 12 Sep 2009 03:04 PM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
Thank you guys so much.

On wedsday im going to tell my theropist that ive decided that id o need tog o back to the meadows.
ohiloveit


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Posted: 16 Sep 2009 02:35 AM         Subject: RE: This is hard to say..
it's scary reading this because you're SO young! that's an insanely young age to be even wondering about things like that. if you can get help, please do so. those things are all toxic and even at 18 i regret a lot of them from a couple years back.
hey tangerine you've fallen
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