Topic: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Forum Index : Creative Outlet : Writer's Block : Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!  
animefreak13


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Posted: 30 May 2009 03:44 PM       Subject: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
It's sposed to be for the boyfriend... Idk if I should give it to him, though if it's not very good. This is my first time in 558 posts putting a poem on here. So I'd like dead honest opinions, please and thank you! =]
P.S. And I need halp with a title! :?:

-Insert Title Here-

Please Don't Let Everything Fall,
If You Really Care About Us At All.
I Love You More Than Anything.
I Feel Safe When You Softly Sing.
And When You Let Me Know You Care,
Telling Me You'll Always Be There.

When It's Pouring Rain
And I Feel Pain
You Comfort Me
And Make Me Feel We'll Always Be
Together
Forever
As One
"And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic.."

Nyna. 17. I loves you. kBai now.
xkelster462x


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Posted: 30 May 2009 09:25 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Our Love Song

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deirdrelove


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Posted: 01 Jun 2009 10:58 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
I think it is very simple, honest and a great way to let him know how you feel. Not all poems need a title but when poems are published and they are untitled they normally just make the first line of the poem the title. When I am having trouble naming my poems I look through the poem and pick out my favourite line and that is the title.
Everytime I see your face it reminds me of the places, we used to go..
But all I've got is a photograph and I realize you're not coming back anymore..





I love Chase [[9/19/07]]
-smile-


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Posted: 02 Jun 2009 01:13 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Ooh...I like it :) Very simple but straightforward ... Lots of emotion :)

And, with the title thing, sorry but I can't help you much with that...
I'm not very good at titles myself

Smile and the world smiles with you
Keep Smiling...

Because You Never Know Who Might Be Falling In Love With Your... Smile
It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever...
animefreak13


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Posted: 02 Jun 2009 01:30 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
@ Kelly- Thank you for the suggestion! I really like it. =]

@ Serena- Thank you for the idea! I'll look through it again and maybe pick something out. ^.^

@ Smile- It's ok. Your input was all I really needed. Made me smile. xD I really appreciate your opinion!

Thank you girls so much! I love you all! =]]
"And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic.."

Nyna. 17. I loves you. kBai now.
xkelster462x


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Posted: 02 Jun 2009 08:10 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
No problem! I hope you find a name.

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fallingstupidfor
youx



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Posted: 03 Jun 2009 10:06 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
I love it!
I love the part where it says something about softly singing. :D
New account.
animefreak13


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Posted: 04 Jun 2009 02:55 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
!! Thank You, Monty! You guys make me feel special! xD
"And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic.."

Nyna. 17. I loves you. kBai now.
friendly-fire


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Posted: 04 Jun 2009 02:59 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Aww, that's sweet. I liked it. :)
Hi, I'm Ashley-
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animefreak13


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Posted: 04 Jun 2009 03:03 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Thank you, Ashley! ♥
"And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic.."

Nyna. 17. I loves you. kBai now.
jesuis-supermode
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Posted: 11 Jun 2009 04:52 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Hi, it is very nice and simple. I imagine that it has another meaning on a deeper level that only you two would understand. I do wonder why everything is capitalized, though? Anyway, it's great, I'm sure he will love it!
&♥, Mel
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les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs
    You used to be alright
       What happened?
  Et cetera, et cetera
animefreak13


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Posted: 11 Jun 2009 06:58 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Hehe. Thank you. You're right about the whole different level thing. It's not actually written with all the capital letters. It's done in all lower- case. It's just how I write my poems depending on my mood. It's a weird thing, really. xD The caps were just like the different colors; for decoration. But thank you guys all for your input! I feel so loved. =]
"And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic.."

Nyna. 17. I loves you. kBai now.
xloserxkiwixx


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Posted: 11 Jun 2009 07:24 PM         Subject: RE: Doesn't Have a Title But I Need Feedback!!
Aw, that's cute I really like it (:
I found a love I had lost
It has been gone for too long
Hear no evil in all directions
Execution of bitterness
Message received loud and clear

Don't change for you
Don't change a thing for me
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