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Posts: 543
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Posted: 18 Apr 2018 06:11 PM       Subject: RE: How are the relationships in your life lately?

My best friend for four years came out three months ago and told me he loved me. How it happened went something like this: He'd been visiting me and taking care of me for a month because he was worried. He's the only friend of mine who has been super worried and has shown up out of the blue to bring me food when I can no longer cook for myself. There was one afternoon when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and chucked my phone at him. Thank god he ducked, or he would have gotten a face full of smart cell. I yelled 'Why are you wasting time with such a charity case?' He looked me straight in the eye and said, 'Why not? You wasted time with me! Family takes care of family and you proved that to me. You're all I have, and I love you.' Honestly was something out of a movie.


My mom and I have our issues. My father trained us well. He was extremely abusive to us when I was growing up. The last time he threw me around was a month ago. It was like that scene where Leonardo DiCaprio's character was tossed around by that bear. He completely lost it, and it had been eleven years since he'd been physical like that with me.

The emotional abuse he gave us when I was growing up trained my mother and I to treat each other the way he treated us. We learned to attack before thinking or hearing, and to walk around eggshells because we felt we were always being attacked.

My boyfriend knows all of this, and witness another meltdown from my father four weeks ago. I'm really lucky to have my best friend who's been with me through so much, has visited me at a psychiatric ward, has stayed up all night with me when I couldn't take my medicine, and has witnessed the way my life was in pieces.

When my father lunged at me again four weeks ago, Marmoset (let's just call my best friend that; they're his favorite animal) jumped in and he defended me. Marmoset spoke to my mother about my possible Stockholm Syndrome, and whenever she's not taking care of me he is. They finally met face-to-face and it's clear she really, really likes him.

I know it's not wise to put your entire life on some forum somewhere, but sometimes it's like, sharing is the best medicine, even if it's over-sharing. Marmoset's been staying with me in the guest bedroom, and drops everything he's doing whenever I have a seizure. He's become my new pillow. It doesn't feel like we're going fast at all because of how long we've been friends. Everything feels natural. It feels like the way love is supposed to feel: like a cluster**ck, but safe.


He's very round, has mips, and is also from East Kilbride (which is in Scotland). I remember he told me he wanted to become friends with me because I was the only American he'd heard correctly pronounce 'Islay' and 'Lagavulin' when looking for whisky. Others wouldn't have done that, and he normally wouldn't have either... but my vintage vibe and pageboy cap I wore like a beret told him it would be a mistake not to. Our love reads like such a romantic manuscript, and here I am, writer of horror. Maybe I should change my job description?


I have a dog. Her name is Suki. She lives with my mom, and hasn't been brushed in so long because of everything that's going on. She's a multese-toy poodle, and now her hair is so short and roughly chopped off she looks like she'd been run over by a lawn mower. It's a good thing she has an adorable personality!

Missing someone:

I was. My best friend from childhood mocked my girlfriend (who is now my ex) because she was going through gender dysphoria and needed to have a sex change operation to have the body of a woman like she deserves. Thank god my girlfriend wasn't there, but to watch someone I had known since I was eight years old be so cold toward me because of who I loved that when she became engaged to her boyfriend three days later... I completely lost it. Not only did she marry someone who's highly controlling and has called my home a 'dump' to my face, in front of her only for her to say nothing about it... but it felt like she couldn't accept me because I'm an omnisexual. I can just hear the things she'd mock me for now. She'd tell me that I wasted my time for four years only to fall in love with someone more normal. I'd tell her that no, I didn't fall in love with someone more normal; I fell in love with the only person who isn't blood who is standing by my side when I'm suffering from NEPS.

I still miss her, though.

Mad at someone:

Yes. Many people. The main person is my father.

Having trouble loving someone:

It's very easy to love someone who lays down on the floor next to you and drapes his arm around your waist to calm you down whenever you drop to the floor to have a seizure. It's very, very easy. The easiest thing, actually.

In love:

Read the above. It feels like some cheesy romantic horror flick.


Pretty sure he was the one who was crushing and I was oblivious until I chucked my iPhone at him.

Wanting someone:

I got what I wanted: a real human.


I actually wish I was a little more lonely. No, kidding. I could never get sick of him.

Feeling hurt by someone:

Yes, I'm feeling betrayed by several people. That's what I have a marmoset for

Wishing you had a better relationship with someone:

Does wishing my father wasn't a psycho count?
I'm a paradigm wrapped in an enigma inside of a pirouette cooking that's labeled 'bite me' in edible marker.

Posts: 5969
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Posted: 14 Apr 2018 10:07 AM       Subject: RE: How are the relationships in your life lately?
Today things changed slightly

Friendships- my new best friend Tom has been the support system I have needed the past few weeks and proving me to me time and time again that I can trust him and know he can be someone I can rely on and the same goes for him.
Family- I am missing my dad, I haven't properly seen him in almost a year because he worked away in different places but now he is back and he is back into security work again and working nights when I work nights too and we both sleep during the day. I am back to afternoons again soon so hopefully I can make some time to see him :)
Romantic-- I am in a relationship but we are currently in a bit of a rough patch. Hoping to work through it all.
Pets-- We recently got a parrot to add to our massive fur and feather family.He is starting to talk an mimic my laugh :D

Missing someone: I am missing my dad lately.
Mad at someone: I am mad still at an old friend that cut me out of her life without any decent reasoning. I can't believe she would do that considering how many years (12) we were friends and the amazing memories we shared and created.
Having trouble loving someone: No, just a few issues we need to work through.
In love: Yes.
Wanting someone: I have the ones I want :)
Lonely: I am feeling lonely lately but not in the sense of being alone. I always have company. It's more a different kind of lonely and not one I can exactly explain..
Feeling hurt by someone: Currently, yes. I cannot believe how insensitive some people can be.
Wishing you had a better relationship with someone: Yeah, my siblings.

It's funny how feelings and emotions can change daily and how quickly they can change.

Roxy Ryan
Obsessed with AMC's The Walking Dead, Disney and Tumblr.

Wanna keep a hold of my heart
I'm falling into this again
Falling in and out of love.

Posts: 9
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Posted: 12 Apr 2018 08:14 PM       Subject: RE: How are the relationships in your life lately?
Friendships- :I have had the same friends for years, except for one wo I lost because I'm too weird for her. :/ I wish she was still my friend but...oh well!
Family- I have a wonderful husband and three lovely children.
Romantic-- Wayne, my husband.
Pets-- Daisy dog, George cat, Millie cat, Shaggy guinea pig and Patrick guiniea pig (the piggies are actually my daughter's and she named them)

Missing someone: yes
Mad at someone: No
Having trouble loving someone: yes
In love: yes
Crushing: I don't know what that means. Sorry; I'm thick with social term snad stuff...I fancy my husband, does that count?
Wanting someone: yes, but he's mine...although he's at work tonight and he works bloody long house; including travelling it's 14 hours a day. :'(
Lonely: No, I'm alone but I enjoy my solitude...I'm listening to Johnny cash and talking to my best friend on Facebook
Feeling hurt by someone: No
Wishing you had a better relationship with someone: yes